Last week I announced the beginning of theswingofthings.net. So far we have had lots of people check the new site. I hope you will take the time to do so. On the website you will see an opportunity to like the page on Facebook and to subscribe to new posts via email.
Thanks so much and have a great day!
Life is busy. We have 168 hours in a week, 24 hours per day to live our dreams and make the whole a wonderful and better place.
In an attempt to get done everything that needs to be done we take shortcuts. I have lost count at the number of times I have chosen to lose sleep over watching the game or watching the unimportant TV show.
Taking shortcuts in work leads to poor performance. Taking shortcuts with your time leads to an unfulfilled life.
Performance at work can be remedied, time wasted cannot be redeemed.
If we each have the same amount of time at our disposal it is incumbent upon us to make the best use of it. We were given free will with our time, so we must impose our will towards time.
Most financial experts will say that the purpose of a budget is to tell money what to do and where to go. A budget brings the power back to the person who has the money.
I do not believe it would be too far of a stretch to suggest that a time budget would work the same.
What if for one day, just 24 hours, you were to write out a time budget and stuck to it? What if you decided to exercise from 7-8 pm instead of watching the nightly celebrity shows? What if instead of obsessively checking for an hour to see how many views your latest WordPress post has, try using that hour playing a board game with your family?
Will you suddenly find time that wasn’t there before? I suspect you will.
It’s 24 hours. How will you use it?
The question posed in the title is not one to be offended by, unless of course you come easily offended. If that is the case then I say to you perhaps a thicker skin shall be in need.
If you are not offended, be patient as I am sure by the end of this little prose I will have offended you in some manner. I am really good at it.
Nevertheless, in the spirit of getting back to the point I want to tell you a story I heard and its implications for life and how to deal with whatever comes your way.
Colorado is one of the few places in North America that has both cows and buffalo. Its unique climate allows for both to co-exist. There are many similarities between a cow and a buffalo, but this distinction is something we as humans can learn a lot from.
In Colorado, much like most areas of land that have a mountain range storms can be a bit tricky. With the Rocky Mountains as a mighty shield, only the strongest of storms come over the ridge and into the eastern half of Colorado and push through to western Kansas. It is when these storms make it over the ridge and into the plains that the cow and buffalo reveal their true nature.
When a storm is coming, cows will move east, away from the storm. This seems logical. The storm is coming from the west, so move east. The problem is that eventually that storm will catch up to the cows. The fear and the avoidance of facing the storm causes them to run. The cow hopes the storm goes away, and when it doesn’t, the cow is surprised that wishful thinking and strategy didn’t fix it.
In the case of the buffalo, well they do the opposite. They head west, right into the storm. This heading directly into harm’s way is counter-intuitive, but brilliant at the same time. They say if you want to watch a parade in faster time to walk in the opposite direction of where the parade is going. The same can be said about life’s storms.
When something bad, difficult, or fearful comes over the ridge, how do you respond? Do you respond like the cow, running (as much as a cow can run) away from the storm and hoping it chooses a different path? Or do you respond like a buffalo, going head-first into the storm, knowing that once you make it out of the storm, once your storm has gone past, the clouds begin to melt away and the sun comes out to an experience gained and a lesson learned.
If I were to be honest with myself, and you were to be honest with you, we would admit that we are just a bunch of cows that run away from the difficult and the fearful. I know I want to be a buffalo.
When the storms of life appear over the horizon, how do you want to act? Like a cow or buffalo?
What fears are getting in the way of facing whatever storm you have been avoiding?
What would it look like to face those fears, deal with the present situation and move forward?
There are a series of moments that seemingly define a life. A wedding day. The birth of a child. The death of a loved one. These moments are etched in our memories and stay with us the rest of our lives. These moments have the lasting impact on us, yet most of us neglect to see that those life-altering moments came to be from smaller moments before. Let me explain.
The wedding day is only a formality. The wedding began the moment your eyes met for the first time. The first time you reached out your hand and realized theirs fit perfectly into yours. Then the first kiss. After that the words “I Love You”. Then the fight. Then the realization that you truly love the other. From there, the thought of marriage enters, then the proposal. Sure, the wedding day is a wonderful experience and the relationship is now legally binding. The wedding is an event that could not have happened without the previous moments. Each of these small moments create what is necessary for the big moment to occur.
This is true from relationships, in business, and in almost all walks of life. The moments before the moments are the things to remember. They are the moments that really shape you.
Jim Carrey tells the story of when he was a struggling comedian. He wrote himself a check for $10 million dollars and put in the memo: For Acting Services Rendered. He dated it for Thanksgiving, 1995, years from the time he wrote it. Then, the FOX show In Living Color called and wanted Jim on the show. He spent a number of years on the show before Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. The movie was a huge hit and then weeks before his Thanksgiving 1995 deadline he got word that he would star in Dumb and Dumber. His wages: $10 million.
Many people will say his moment came when he got the check for doing Dumb and Dumber. That is not true. If he did not struggle as a comedian, Dumb and Dumber would not have happened. If he did not work on In Living Color, Dumb and Dumber would have gone to someone else. If Ace Ventura: Pet Detective would not have been a hit, major studios would not have seen Carrey as a viable movie star, and Dumb and Dumber would not have starred Jim Carrey.
See that each moment is building up to something bigger. Never give up on your dream whatever it may be. The small moments you have now are what lead to the moments of greatness later.
When I was a kid I wanted to be in the position Chris Johnson and Juan Francisco are in right now. I wanted to be the third baseman for the Atlanta Braves after my baseball hero, Chipper Jones retired. I was 10 years old and I convinced myself that I could man the hot corner after Jones’ last at bat.
During my junior year of high school I had a growth spurt. Oh boy was I excited for that. I knew this would be the thing I needed to play third base.
“Professional baseball players have to be tall…at least 5’8″ is what I would tell myself. I never saw anyone shorter in the big leagues, much less a third baseman. When my growth spurt ended, my portly 4’9″ frame became a slightly less portly 5’3”. Tallness complete. It was at that point I knew it was time to change career goals.
If I couldn’t be an athlete, I wanted to cover the athletes. I wanted to be a sportswriter. I went to college with the goal of becoming the best sportswriter the world has ever seen. Then sports made me a little jaded. Most of the student-athletes I met at school were jerks. Then I remembered: The stud jocks from my high school are the same guys who become these neanderthals that roam my college campus. I didn’t like them in high school, why would I like them now? New career choice.
I sought counseling for clinical depression. The clinical depression was later diagnosed as Bi-Polar disorder. I got help from a counselor and it had a huge impact on me. I wanted to do the same. So I returned to college, this time at a different school and got my degree in Psychology. I was ready to help solve all of the problems of the world, one person at a time. A series of conversations led me to let go of that idea. The conversations went a little like this. A friend needed advice. I gave them advice. I thought it was sound advice. They immediately did the exact opposite of what I suggested. It blew up in their face. I was right. They were wrong. I was mad. Could I deal with this for the next 30-35 years of my life? The answer was a quick no. Next dream.
The best job I could get out of college was an entry-level management job at a restaurant. I had zero restaurant experience, so it came as a shock to me to get the call. After six months in, this became the new dream. Three years later, the dream is no longer. Here is why.
I found out that it doesn’t matter what your career or what your dream is, or that the career/dream are one in the same. The important thing is that you are still dreaming. My dreams have changed as I have changed. As I have gained more wisdom and displayed more maturity, the details of the dream have changed as well. The details are basically gone. My dreams are much broader in scope than in the past, yet my dreams are also much more simplistic than they were before.
I recently found out something incredibly beneficial to me, and I hope to you as well. Ready for it……
My dreams are not my own.
Sure, they are formed in my mind and expressed through my actions but they are not owned by me. My dreams are like a community garden in the way that each person that has come into my life has formed and shaped me, helping me live out the dream on a daily basis. Some people in life will stir things up, they till the soil. Others will be the water, taking you into the dark places where tears are necessary for growth. Finally some in my life have been the sunshine, or light. They have been the spark to help me reach for something higher. To help me grow taller.
What will my next dream be? I’m not exactly sure. But I do know the blueprint. My dream will help others. My dream will be designed to make a positive impact on people’s lives. My dream will be my wife’s dream, because we are one now. Her dreams are my dreams too. My dreams will be inspired by God and will seek to show his Kingdom and his glory.
My dream is nothing like it was when I was a 10 year-old boy. For that, I am so very thankful.
Are you still dreaming?
If so, what will you next dream be?
How have your dreams changed as you have changed?
In my last post, I spoke about an employee who needed to cut the strings of her first job and quit. I forgot to mention a minor detail in that story. I am in management. Yep, you heard right. A boss told a good employee to quit, and I have no regrets about it.
You see, there are so many managers who will do anything they can to keep quality employees. Managers will give raises at the precise peak of frustration. Managers will promise the world in hopes you won’t put in your notice. Managers will use that string that you just can’t cut to reel you back in. All for their benefit, all at the expense of their staff. I had a good employee, not a great employee who wanted a promotion. If I were to be honest, I would have said she was barely unqualified for the promotion. She was good, but not quite good enough for a promotion. My bosses agreed with that assessment, but did not communicate that with the employee.
She asked about a promotion. They dodged the question. She asked again three months later, still no response. She asked again another three months later. Another non-committal answer. Her frustration was mounting and I can tell she was unhappy to be there. I needed to do something. I told her the truth.
I told her that we did not envision her moving up in the company. I also told her that we knew this answer six months ago yet upper management did not want to tell you for fear you would quit. This employee already had a second job and I advised her to take on more hours at that second job, especially if there was an opportunity for a promotion.
I was reprimanded by my company for divulging management to management conversations with the employees, and I was told that we shouldn’t care what our employees do outside of work. I stayed silent, apologized and went on my way. On this employees’ last day with our company, she pulled me aside and told me that at first she was very upset with me for telling her the truth. After a few days of thinking about it, she realized that I was looking out for her and that she was grateful for my honesty. It would have saved her another six months to a year of anger. Now she can go work her other job exclusively.
Six months after she left a co-worker told me she ran into that employee. The co-worker told me that the former employee is happy at her job, with her new promotion.
I am not saying that you should try to get all of your good employees to quit. What I am saying is that as a manager and a leader it is your responsibility to make tough choices. It is also your responsibility to care for your employees the best way possible. Every employee is not just a financial investment, but an emotional investment as well. Your job as a leader is to help this person succeed and prepare them for their next job, or for growth within their current employment. If an employee cannot reach their goals with your company I believe it is an obligation to let them know. It will save you from unproductive and apathetic employees, and it will create a culture of honesty and integrity.
If you have good, not great employees and you care about their success. If their career trajectory is higher than your company’s ceiling, encourage them to find a house with a bigger ceiling. Encourage them and help them find a new job.
Encourage them to quit.
I was speaking with a co-worker the other day about her goals. She is a smart young woman and a great employee with dreams and aspirations to make it big in business. She wants to go back to school, but to do so would mean to quit her first job, the only job she has really kept, and a job that would be available to her any time she wanted to come back. I told her it was time for her to quit and quit for good.
It would be a loss to our company for her to leave. It would take time to find someone to replace her technical abilities and overall rapport with customers. For her sake though, it is time to go. It’s all about cutting strings.
Personal Growth comes at weird times and in strange circumstances. It has been my experience that personal growth has been most evident when faced with adversity. Growth was almost a necessity. There have been many times when the way to solve a problem in the past did not solve a current issue. Therefore a change of thought must occur. I had to adapt and let go of previously held beliefs in order to get better. In order to achieve more.
Before my current job I was a pizza delivery man. I made decent money doing it but it was not fulfilling, and had I believed now what I believed then, I would have been a pizza delivery guy for the rest of my life. I didn’t think I could do more with my life. I was also comfortable. It was not until the pizza place went out of business and I was faced with some difficult choices. Do I do what is comfortable and take another pizza job, or do I try something else?
I decided to try something else. It turns out it was my experience as a pizza delivery guy that helped me get the job I have now, and I know my current job will be part of the reason I get a better job in the future. The past may have helped shape your future, but your past cannot define your future. With growth and progress comes greater expectations.
It is with that thought in mind that when I move on to a different place of employment, move to a different area, or do something new I take what I learn from my previous experiences and then I cut the strings. I no longer allow myself to go back to the mindset that told me being a pizza guy was a career path. I have learned that the strength of the strings that tie you back to the past will always be stronger than the rope that wants to pull you forward.
I told her to quit and never work here again. The emotional attachment of what is comfortable and what is barely good enough leads to becoming stagnant. She is trying to answer different questions with the same answer. It worked before, but it does not work now.
It is time for her to cut the strings at work.
It is probably time for me to cut mine too.
Is it time to cut yours?
Have you ever had one of those dreams or visions that wake you up in the middle of the night ? Has that dream seemed so real, and been so invigorating that you couldn’t go back to sleep? I had one of those last night. I thought this would be the best place to share it with you.
I was at work in my dream, and I was not in the best mood. Customers were frustrating, co-workers were not communicating with each other, and things were getting backed-up. If you are in the restaurant industry or any type of customer service you can envision this scenario at your place of employment. I went to the bar, which I always do to vent and I was talking about all the things going wrong.
When in the wrong frame of mind I can let my mind get out of hand. Talking about one bad customer can lead to blanket statements that all of our customers are bad. A disagreement over a management decision can swell into something much bigger. In my dream I was going on and on about my crappy night until a regular at the bar stopped me mid-rant.
“How’s your little girl doing?” he asked.
My eyes lit up and my mood instantly changed. You could have told me that there has been a ban on ice cream and my smile would have stayed as wide as it was.
“She’s doing great. She is doing some things as a four-month old that are milestones for seven-month olds. She is going to be such a smart girl.”
That is when the revelation came. That is when I woke up.
The person who signs my check may be my boss, but it is not who I work for. The crew that I am responsible for are not exactly the same as the people I must be accountable to. See, I can disappoint my co-workers and I assure you there is something I do every single day that causes someone to be frustrated with me. As much as their opinion matters, and as much as leading them and molding them into quality members of society matters to me, I don’t work for them either. I work for three people. Let me tell you who they are.
I work for the God that forgave me of my sins. I work for the One who sacrificed His life so that I can be made whole again. I work for the God who has placed me where I am, in hopes of showing how good He is.
I work for the love of my life. My kind, smart, absolutely drop dead gorgeous wife, Kelsi. The love I have for her is the reason I get up every day. To see the smile on her face when I can come home and tell her without a doubt I worked my tail off for her, makes all the negative customers worth it.
I also work for this girl:
Mackenzie Grace. She is the biggest blessing I could ever ask for. I work so she can feel safe and secure, knowing she will have shelter. I work for her so she can know that finances will never be a reason for mommy and daddy to fight. I work for her so she can have opportunities I never had, so she can do better, be better than me.
I think our frustrations at work come not from customers, fellow employees, or management. Our frustrations come from forgetting why we do what we do. Why we get up out of bed and punch in for work. We forget who we work for.
I realized who I work for. Their payment is much greater than money.
Who do you work for?
On Jon Acuff’s newest entry on his Stuff Christians Like blog, Jon tackles the question of why Christians are such jerks, especially to fellow believers. He uses an analogy involving a chess board. He says that pawns are used to advance bigger, more important pieces. They sacrifice themselves so in the end, their King is the only one left on the board. A pawn would never attack their own King, yet we insist on attacking each other.
We, as Christians, and moreover as just humans want to be greater than pawns. People in ministry strive to be the next Billy Graham. Entrepreneurs, especially in the Christian Community desire to have the influence someone like Dave Ramsey or Dan Cathy can have on a culture. The fact is that most of us will fail to live up to those expectations or have the impact that those men have had. We are merely pawns. The fantastic thing about the previously mentioned men, pioneers in their professions, is that they are just pawns too.
They are pawns to the one true King. It will be a great day when Christians can accept that no matter how much we accomplish for God’s Kingdom, no matter how many of the enemy’s pieces we take out, we will still be just a pawn, and be content with that fact.
It will be at that point when the claim of Christian will not be one met with hostility or hypocrisy, but of openness and engagement. We are each individually unique and vitally important to the Story of God, and his Son, Jesus Christ. But we must make no mistake about it, we are replaceable.
There will always be someone who will come along and bring more people to Christ than Reverend Graham did. There will be someone else who will come closer to customer service perfection than Mr. Cathy.
I guess what I am trying to say in a very long-winded manner is that we need to remember what we are, and more importantly who we are NOT. God has called us to many things, some in a more public setting than others, but our calling, our job is essentially the same. We are not called to be a King, a Queen, or any other pieces of the Chess board except what we were made to be. We are called to be a Pawn.
Be ONLY a Pawn.
This is the information age. Anything you want to know or learn is just one click away. Want to know how to make a great rhubarb pie? There is an app for that. Do you need to know who was eliminated from the latest and greatest celebrity dance competition? I don’t need to be a “Genius” to guide you in the right direction. We have all of this access to information, but where has it gotten us?
In the first letter to the people of Corinth, the Apostle Paul touches on the fascination with knowing more, but understanding less. In chapter one, verse twenty he says, “Where is the wise person? Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has God not made foolish the wisdom of the world?” (NIV)
Christopher Langan was featured in the book Outliers as one of, if not the highest IQ score in the world. In his pursuit of all things facts and knowledge, he has become very reclusive and struggles to maintain a job. Would Christopher Langan trade all of that knowledge and all of those facts to know what true wisdom means? I believe he would.
Here is an excerpt from an interview with Rick Rosner. He, much like Langan boasts of an IQ score in the upper 190’s.
To think you can accurately measure super high IQ’s is also not reasonable in that a lot of my IQ is that I’m super persistent. I know what it takes to do well on those tests in terms of time commitment. I’ve taken a bunch of these tests and I’m willing to spend 120 hours on them. But a really smart person like a Bill Gates would say why would I spend 120 hours on this test when I can develop a new product and make 100s of millions of dollars. It’s almost as if I’m less smart for taking these tests. You have to take points off for me wasting my time. (thedaily.com)
The thing that many people, including myself forget is that quality will lead to quantity. The reverse rarely happens, and when it does it the exception that proves the rule. A church that quantifies their success based on the quality of the relationships within the congregation will see the type of growth that will outlast all of the start-ups with big sanctuaries and electric guitar solos in their worship music. The relevant use of Scripture is what brings people back, not the amount of acquaintances you make during coffee hour.
The same principle is just as true in the business realm. Starbucks doesn’t become what it is today without providing a quality product first. Same goes with any successful endeavour. The tortoise always wins the race.
Something to think about as you go through your day:
What is just one piece of information that you could live without? If you did not have this piece of information, would life be just as satisfying or fulfilling?
As always, comments are not only welcome but highly encouraged.
The Swing Of Things 